December 5th, 2005
strip: Singing Santa!
Sorry, no coloring today, I’m a bit under the weather.
Today’s topic: Annoying singing Christmas automatons.
It’s 2005, shouldn’t we have like more advanced singing decorations that can tell your mood and possible shut up or sing a variety of songs instead of the same five songs over and over?
Plus, the ones that sing AND dance… they must be stopped.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the holiday seasons, but these little robots are bothering me. Whether it be a Santa, a Snowman, A talking tree… go on and list what singing monstrosities draw your ire this holiday season.
December 5th, 2005 at 3:50 am
Singing monstrosities? Christmas?
You mean like Cher? What about He Who Must Not Be Named? Do those count or should I get my sense of humor checked for leaks?
December 5th, 2005 at 4:21 am
I’d have already killed the damned thing. Drew has more patience than me ….
December 5th, 2005 at 4:37 am
My grandparents have this ridiculous singing and dancing sunflower sitting in their entertainment cabinet. I believe it’s been there since I was born (at least, since I can’t ever remember it not being there), and every Christmas when the whole family visits one of my young cousins thinks it’s the funniest thing on the planet, and plays it ad nauseum. Take into consideration that I have six aunts and uncles and at least one of them (or their spouse) is pregnant at any given time, and I’m guaranteed to listen to the thing for many years to come.
Fuck sunflowers.
December 5th, 2005 at 4:55 am
Santa Claus is coming……right up Santa Claus lane? What will those perverts think of next. It’s wrong I tells ya, WRONG!
December 5th, 2005 at 5:58 am
Those damn singing fish. Someone in my family inevitably gets one for someone else in the family every year. Thankfully I haven’t gotten one yet, but it’s coming. And when I do get it, that pain in the…yeah, it’s going in ye olde skeet shooter. To the moon, Alice, to the moon!
December 5th, 2005 at 9:29 am
I loathe holidays anyway, but those automatons get to me too. I’m thinking that the little dancing snowman of which my Mother is so fond might meet his less-than-wintery fate alongside the Christmas Ham (the only good part of Christmas in my book).
December 5th, 2005 at 10:19 am
I love Christmas but I hate the songs they play in stores. Especially the ones that are about getting “toys”. I am willing to bet that the Christmas carols about Santa a getting toys were written by the corporations as a means to brainwash kids.
I blame those songs and TV for making American society greedy and materialistic. Oh and those singing dolls that you mentioned, they are from hell. Death to those singing dolls, and death to the people who make Christmas out to be about nothing but getting more crap.
Christmas is about Christ and corporations should be sued to the point of bankruptcy, after all they have bankrupted society and corrupted many religious holidays.
What sickens me the most is that I look forward to getting crap on Christmas and giving crap, no matter how much I want to have a Christmas with out gift giving or recieving. A Christmas that is just about reflecting on its true meaning and enjoying the company of loved ones.
December 5th, 2005 at 10:27 am
K-Mart has singing deer head trophies. Shouldn’t wailing animated dead animals, even fake ones, be a sign of the ANTI-Christ?
December 5th, 2005 at 11:40 am
The singing deer heads also come with a remote mic…and while I don’t appreciate the cheese factor fon animated plastic there’s a lot of people I know who could have fun with that. Including myself.
December 5th, 2005 at 11:43 am
Well I like my singing Homer Santa. He screws up the songs and says about 10 different things. He’s on MANUAL play, not automatic, which would be tiresome.
December 5th, 2005 at 11:43 am
That song will never sound the same to me since I hear the Melt Banana version.
MMmmm, Bananas
December 5th, 2005 at 11:45 am
naw, Christ lost dibbs on Christmas back when christmas died a century and a bit ago, and was resurected by that “night before Christmas” story, plus there is no logical way Christ was born on Christmas.
I like the giving and receving, you are showing someone that you care about them, like when I gave my uncle a really nice personalised watch. Presents are way better then stupid gift certificates,”I dont know much about you, and didn’t bother to figure anything out, so here is some tethered money”
December 5th, 2005 at 12:10 pm
Two words. Singing Moose. It sings CCR for god’s sake. Badly.
December 5th, 2005 at 12:16 pm
Them there Christmas toys that sing are pure evil.
December 5th, 2005 at 1:10 pm
They make talking Larry the Cable Guy and Jeff Foxworthy dolls. What the fuck?
Remember Furbies, Tickle-me-Elmo? What the fuck?
Reponse to America is Greedy: Most of humanity is greedy and materialistic as they strive towards some false way to deal with their insecurities.
December 5th, 2005 at 3:01 pm
Holy crap! That’s a brilliant idea! A singing toy thing that’s an MP3 player with a USB plug-in and Flash memory!
You could have Santa singing death metal songs!
December 5th, 2005 at 3:10 pm
Ding! Fries are done.
Ding! Fries are done.
Would you like some applepie with thaaaat,
Would you like some applepie with thaaaat.
December 5th, 2005 at 3:34 pm
The most evil singing toy ever would be animated wooden versions of celebrities singing “We Are a Small World”. My nice side prays that no one would ever make them, while my naughty side hopes to sue for the massive royalties.
December 5th, 2005 at 3:36 pm
Love the holidays for the sheer amount of parties. Hangin’ out with friends, enjoying the lovely holiday alcohols! What a great time of year. Although…any automated singing Thing ought to be taken out back and, to borrow a phrase from Mr. Carlin, beaten to death with a Stilson wrench. My folks have a clock that sings a different holiday song every quarter hour. It made it into the trash but was found by the evil sister. So we stuck it under her pillow the next night. It still lives, but we’ll try again this year to kill it.
December 5th, 2005 at 5:20 pm
Is it just me or does the Singing Santa have a small resemblance to Bob?
And i think D.j should make a Singing Llama, Make it sing Hateful X-mas Carols.
December 5th, 2005 at 8:35 pm
My lovely wife enjoys creating Halloween props, and she swears that one day she’s going to get one of those singing Santas and rewire it to sing some very decidedly un-Christmas songs. I think she’s also planning on altering Santa’s appearance to something more macabre. Updates to follow, as they happen.
December 7th, 2005 at 2:30 am
The only good Christmas music is by The Trans-Siberian Orchestra. …But I’m sure that would only result in a Santa robot with a flying-V (because that band doesn’t play them), sunglasses (because they don’t wear them on stage) and a leather jacket, just because those scream rock to the marketing world.