November 5th, 2005
Paris Burning… And PIRATES!
What the heck is going on over in Paris? Jeez oh whiz people, calm the heck down. As Arnold might say: “All the burning stuff and frying things and smashing of the windows and the cars and all of these things…”
You want to know what’s really going on?
That’s right, I suspect Mimes are behind this madness. I mean, no one’s said a thing about that, which is JUST THE WAY THEY LIKE IT.
Seriously, Paris, cool it.
Also, I see in the news, there was like a pirate attack on a cruise liner. My sources tell me it was THIS MAN:
Yeah, that’s right… Keith Richards. Menacing! He was doing a little practice for his role in the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie.
Alright….. so have a safe weekend. Stay clear of Mimes and Pirates.
November 5th, 2005 at 6:57 pm
Damn mimes. They should be shot on sight. Pirates are cool though so they get to stay.
November 5th, 2005 at 7:05 pm
I say we get the pirates all liquored up and sic them on the mimes.
November 5th, 2005 at 7:31 pm
Nah, it wasn’t the mimes. The French just releasing their centuries worth of pent-up aggression out.
Anarchy in France!!!!! qui qui!
November 5th, 2005 at 7:37 pm
Thank goodness there were no ninjas involved, so it’s still safe for me to go hang ou with my ninja buddies. I am friends with Tim Robbins. He is a ninja. FEAR HIM KEITH RICHARDS!
November 5th, 2005 at 7:41 pm
Pirate mimes?
November 6th, 2005 at 3:49 pm
Stupid french people. It’s not a party in Paris without the guillotine.
Bring back the guillotine!
November 6th, 2005 at 8:48 pm
Well, I would say it’s because French people are tired of the world thinking of them as being “pushovers” who always get their asses kicked all the time, even though that’s exactly what they are.
Now, as for Keith Richards being a pirate, that would DEFINITELY be a scary sight. The question I have is, how are there still pirates in this day and age? Did they watch “Pirates of the Carribbean” too many times? MAN that is weird to think about…..
November 6th, 2005 at 9:41 pm
Mimes, pirates, ninjas. All we need is monkeys, and we have the eternal quartet.
November 7th, 2005 at 5:14 am
Dear Graphic Artist 2k5,
I wanted to adress some of the things you had said in your responce:
“who always get their asses kicked all the time” re: France
Have you heard of a thing called the French revolution? where France kicked its own ass then kicked the ass of all of Europe? The only reason why France gets the pansy/nancy treatment is because they have the nuts to stand up to the States, they are a major player in the EU. And America should watch out for the EU.
“how are there still pirates in this day and age?” ALOT, there are roving bands of theves in high powered boats attacking travilling yaughts and stuff taking wealth. There is even a piracy watch taskforce in the coastguard, you cannot sail in some areas without dealing with them. See Life Aquatic with Steve Zizeau, for a romatizied version of modern pirates.
November 7th, 2005 at 2:26 pm
It also doesn’t help that Jacques Chirac manages to keep making a twat out of himself.
On teh bright side he was probably responsible for London getting the olympic games XD
November 7th, 2005 at 2:37 pm
If I was Jaques Chirac I would spend my time trying to get myself replaced by an android with Napoleon Bonaparte’s brain inside it. Then they would see who the pushovers are.
November 7th, 2005 at 3:24 pm
Actually, ERic, the reason France gets the pansy/nancy treatment is their track record in modern war. Doesn’t make a shit what you did in the days of cavalry and cannons. From an American perspective (being a short memoried “culture”), WWI and on is pretty much all that is remembered. And from that point forward, France=pansy in any sort of large conflict.
November 9th, 2005 at 3:59 pm
EXACTLY, Murch, I don’t seem to ever recall France being a nation of bad asses who could kick the crap out of anyone they felt like kicking the crap out of. As a matter of fact, if you REALLY want to see just how stupid some French people are, just look for and download a HILARIOUS video clip where Triumph the Insult Comic Dog goes to Quebec, and he’s making fun of all the Frenchy’s there. And what is really awesome about that skit is, it gets better the more it progresses, especially towards the end.
To quote Triumph: “I’m sorry, I’m having a hard time understanding your language, you know. I only know common French phrases like, I surrender.”, spoken to a French woman, who had NOTHING to say on the behalf of her fellow Frenchy’s. I rest my case.