Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Hey, if you have some sort of blog or news outlet of your own, why not spread the word about the new Yirmumah book? You should totally do that because I’d love you for it.
So, yeah, I told the story on the forum already, but the Jehovah’s people have been invading our neighborhood on the weekends lately. I’m going to have to put back up the sign. I use to have it up, but then I felt rude when someone would read it that I liked and was visiting… it said “NO SOLICITING OF ANY KIND” then in small print “Or Uninvited Guests of Any Kind.” — I mean, if I know you, or you’re a true friend and part of our inner circle of trust, swing on by or give a call first. But if I don’t know you, and you’re looking to sell me meat out of a freezer in the back of your truck, or siding or windows, or pitching me some fairy tale religion… Don’t come to my door.
I’ve thought about making the sign say, “NO SOLICITING OR PEOPLE IN SUITS OF ANY KIND.”
Maybe I just need a sign that says “FUCK OFF!” or “DON’T COME HERE ANYMORE.”– that would work.
And now…. ads by Google!
Recent Topics: Jehovah’s Witness, No Soliciting, Uninvited
February 1st, 2006 at 3:57 am
Technically, Jehovah’s Witnesses and their ilk should be spurned by a “No Proselytizers” sign. Unfortunately, they are not known for respecting privacy or the laws of man.
February 1st, 2006 at 4:44 am
I just solicited them for sex every time they came to the door. Eventually they stopped coming by. Want me to buy some magazines? You’d better drop your pants. I’ll accept the word of God once I hear you crying out his name.
Though, I can’t say I wasn’t a little sad because it ruined some of my fun. And it probably says something about me.
February 1st, 2006 at 5:28 am
You guys dont want to know how i get rid of religious freakos. But i have printed out a bunch of tresspass notices, you get them from the police web site, print them out and hand them out to anyone that fucks you off, next time they step on your property they owe you 2500 dollars. I really wish violence was allowed. But these bits of paper do the job.
But yeah i live in nz so that might not be allowed in your country. Umm can you guys shoot trespassers? Or hurt them? That would be neato.
February 1st, 2006 at 6:53 am
I grew up a Jehovah’s Witness until about twelve years old when my dad realized how much of a cult it really is. One of their rules is that if you leave they can’t have contact with you ever again, even family; you’re dead to them. To this day there are family members who won’t talk to my dad for coming to his sanity.
I think I’ll print this comic and send every one of them a copy.
And yes, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if they were against pony rides.
February 1st, 2006 at 7:32 am
I think it’s hilarious that all the Google ads are for JW crap… especially the “Meet single Jehovah’s Witnesses just like you” link. <headshake> Priceless.
My personal favourite was coming to the door with a freshly butchered leg of lamb (blood all over my apron) while wearing my t-shirt with the Human Transmutation circle from Fullmetal Alchemist. I didn’t even have to say anything… they both backed up and nearly ran to their car without uttering a sound.
February 1st, 2006 at 7:50 am
Atleast they didnt start baptising the dead like the mormons were, still cant quite see how that one worked.
One good way of scaring them off is to answer the door naked, especially if your a sweaty fat bastard like i am. Just dont do it to scare off scout troops selling things, that can only end in a jail sentence
February 1st, 2006 at 9:02 am
A friend of mine did this - when a family (mom, dad, and 5-year-old daughter) came to her door, after polite chit-chat with the adults, she asked, “Oh, is this your daughter? She’s so cute.” She then bent over and got eye-level with the kid and said, “Did you know your mommy and daddy are in a cult? When you get older, I’ll give you sanctuary if you find your way back here.” The JWs quickly got off her porch, went to the middle of the street, made some hokey religious sign toward the house then must have gone back and warned everyone at Kingdom Hall not to go to her house as she was never bothered again.
February 1st, 2006 at 10:18 am
Yeah. I’m sorry, but anyone who goes door to door looking for members to join their religion…..CULT!
February 1st, 2006 at 11:05 am
JT and I talk about your monthly book on the podcast we have. It got just a couple of minute mention but it will be there. It should be coming out later tonight and we will make sure to link it in the show notes.
Of course we have just a little over 100 regular listners so I’m sure you will be overwelmed with traffic.
I am curious about why a monthly book though? Why not quarterly? Monthly books just seem like a ton of work.
Anyhow look for the newest gigcast sometime tonight or tomorrow morning. I’m at work now or I’d be editing it now.
February 1st, 2006 at 11:27 am
MadScott…. thanks for the mention in the podcast. I’ll link back to you, just let me know via e-mail when it’s up and a link.
Why a monthly? Well, because I can do it now, and it gives me a nice steady flow of a new product to put out. It’s not much more work, since the interiors are filled up with the strips as I go, but I can take a weekend or few days a month and work on bonus content, a cover, letters page and inside editorial– the shipping isn’t too hard either– it’s tedious, but fun too.
February 1st, 2006 at 11:41 am
I just re-read (at work, more awake now) the part about DJ putting up a sign. I had to put one up on my door because I kept getting woken up from weekend naps by Mormons. It basically said no solicitors of any kind and had a graphic of a man and a woman in nice clothing holding a Bible with a circle and slash around/through them. I also listed specifically that I didn’t want to speak to anyone about their religion but then I had two little footnotes at the bottom that said I would talk to JWs if they were willing to talk about certain Bible verses about false prophets in relation to certain prophecies their elders have made that of course didn’t come true (world ending stuff) and then one saying Mormons pretendingn to be JWs would be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. No JWs ever took me up on my offer…
Now I want the Mormons to visit me because a friend of mine was able to scam a Mormon goods store in Utah into selling her some Mormon underwear (garments) that only Mormons should be able to buy and wear. It was her Xmas gift to me last year. They have Masonic symbols etched into various sections. I want to answer the door wearing that, drinking a beer, and holding a porn mag. Fucking Mormons, knocking on my door.
February 1st, 2006 at 12:37 pm
Pony rides? Hahahahaha!
February 1st, 2006 at 3:31 pm
Man, when I was little we lived in a fucked up neighborhood and when JW’s came by we actually hit the floor, didnt move and pretended they weren’t there. If we saw em early enough down the street, no lights and no TVs, turned em off. Cause one they wont go away, and two white people no one knew coming to your door could get everyone shot. Especially in suits and shit, like they’re FEDS.
February 1st, 2006 at 8:10 pm
Just ordered a copy. Once I get it and give it a read through, I’ll talk it up on my site. I’m feelin’ fairly confident that it’s gonna be a positive write-up.
February 2nd, 2006 at 2:06 am
Man, I was raised in a house with JWs. My mom and all 10 of my brothers and sisters. My dad up and split when Good Ol’ Mom joined the wacky pack there because, and I quote ‘You and all your dumbass friends there are so full of shit, it’s blinded you.” Bear in mind I was 2 at the time, so I didn’t know what the hell was going on.
Fast forward 10 years and 8 siblings later. Every damn tuesday they would wake me up at the Godless hour of 5am. “You coming to the Kingdom Hall? There’s nice girls there at the Kingdom Hall!” and on and on it went until I told them to stop trying to pimp their freakish women on me so I could join some made-up hokum religion that advocates religious prejudice and bigotry. And it does at that! 3 years after that I went crazier than a shit-house rat and set the bathroom on fire because they just WOULDN’T SHUT UP!
February 2nd, 2006 at 3:22 am
Ten siblings? I guess Jehova’s Witnesses are against hobbies, too?
March 3rd, 2006 at 4:33 pm
Up close and personal Jehovah’s Witnesses can be wolves in sheep’s clothing.
Think about this-When the devil comes knocking on your door he may not have the ‘dark goth look’.They could be smartly dressed and wielding the Christian Bible.
I have Jehovah’s Witnesses family in the usa who practice the Watchtower JW enforced ritual shunning that i have not seen or heard from in 15 years.
The central CORE dogma of the Watchtower is Jesus second coming (invisibly) in 1914 and is a lie.Jehovah’s Witnesses are a spin-off of the man made Millerite movement of 1840.
A destructive cult of false teachings, that frequently result in spiritual and psychological abuse, as well as needless deaths (bogus blood transfusion ban).
Yes,you can ‘check out anytime you want but you can never leave’,because they can and will hold your family hostage.
The world has the Internet now,and there are tens of thousands of pages up from disgruntled ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses like myself who have been abused by the Watchtower cult.
Jehovah’s Witnesses are often a mouth that prays a hand that kills.The Watchtower is a truly Orwellian world.
—-
Danny Haszard former Jehovah’s Witness X 33 years and 3rd generation www.dannyhaszard.com
June 19th, 2006 at 2:53 pm
Sounds like all of you have some serious problems with Jehovah’s Witnesses, especailly Danny Haszard.
March 25th, 2007 at 9:25 am
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